Angry old judge with hammer

  1. Law of Mechan­i­cal Repair: After your hands become coat­ed with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
  2. Law of Grav­i­ty: Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least acces­si­ble cor­ner.
  3. Law of Prob­a­bil­i­ty: The prob­a­bil­i­ty of being watched is direct­ly pro­por­tion­al to the stu­pid­i­ty of your act.
  4. Law of Ran­dom Num­bers: If you dial a wrong num­ber, you nev­er get a busy sig­nal and some­one always answers.
  5. Vari­a­tion Law: If you change traf­fic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  6. Law of the Bath: When the body is ful­ly immersed in water, the tele­phone rings.
  7. Law of Close Encoun­ters: The prob­a­bil­i­ty of meet­ing some­one you know increas­es dra­mat­i­cal­ly when you are with some­one you don’t want to be seen with.
  8. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to some­one that a machine won’t work, it will.
  9. Law of Bio­me­chan­ics: The sever­i­ty of the itch is inverse­ly pro­por­tion­al to the reach.
  10. Law of the The­ater & Hock­ey Are­na: At any event, the peo­ple whose seats are fur­thest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats sev­er­al times to go for food, beer, or the loo and who leave ear­ly before the end of the per­for­mance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come ear­ly, nev­er move once, have long gan­g­ly legs or big bel­lies and stay to the bit­ter end of the per­for­mance. The aisle peo­ple also are very surly folk.
  11. The Cof­fee Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot cof­fee, your boss will ask you to do some­thing which will last until the cof­fee is cold.
  12. Murphy’s Law of Lock­ers: If there are only 2 peo­ple in a lock­er room, they will have adja­cent lock­ers.
  13. Law of Phys­i­cal Sur­faces: The chances of an open-faced jam sand­wich land­ing face down on a floor, are direct­ly cor­re­lat­ed to the new­ness and cost of the car­pet or rug.
  14. Law of Log­i­cal Argu­ment: Any­thing is pos­si­ble if you don’t know what you are talk­ing about.
  15. Brown’s Law of Phys­i­cal Appear­ance: If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
  16. Oliver’s Law of Pub­lic Speak­ing: A closed mouth gath­ers no feet.
  17. Wilson’s Law of Com­mer­cial Mar­ket­ing Strat­e­gy: As soon as you find a prod­uct that you real­ly like, they will stop mak­ing it.
  18. Doc­tors’ Law: If you don’t feel well, make an appoint­ment to go to the doc­tor, by the time you get there you’ll feel bet­ter. But don’t make an appoint­ment, and you’ll stay sick.

Gepubliceerd door Stijn Vogels

Natural born probleemoplosser met een oog voor usability, design, trends en details. Professioneel bezig met letterwoorden als SEO, SEA, SMO, DIY en CYA.